What are the right words to say to someone who is grieving? Well the truth is, sometimes words alone just aren’t the answer.

As someone who considers herself pretty good with words, (hell, I would even go out on a limb and call myself a 'professional wordsmith'), I felt utterly speechless, powerless, and wilted, when a friend of mine recently lost someone very close to him.

Every sentence I tried to put together felt cheap, cliche, and empty. Every card I picked up in the store felt tired, impersonal, insensitive. 

All I wanted to do was grab him and hug him. I wanted to squeeze his hand and hold it until he eased the pressure. I wanted to rub his shoulders until he grew sleepy and told me to go ahead and go home. I wanted to sleep on his couch so that I could be there for him in the morning. Because I wasn’t in the same city as my grieving friend, being present just wasn’t an option. 

So what do you do when words aren’t enough and distance is too much?

If you can’t be there physically, consider sending them some music. It can be a favorite song of the person who passed, a song that your grieving friend likes, or simply one that means something to you. Music has amazing healing power. It gets through to us in ways that words simply can’t. Yes, it might open up some nostalgia floodgates in the process, especially if you choose to share a sad song, but music also has the power to inspire us, comfort us, and give us the courage to keep moving forward when nothing else seems to be working.

What once seemed impossible gradually starts to feel possible again. What once seemed like a long, dark path, is suddenly illuminated by hope. 


Ultimately, I decided to share the following song with my grieving friend. Not only do I think the song is beautifully put together but the lyrics are pretty special too. I hope you enjoy. 

Music to Grieve to on iTunes

Music to Grieve to

Listening to sad music after losing a loved one, being diagnosed with a terminal illness, or finalizing a divorce might seem counterintuitive, but this somber sounding activity has been proven to help.

Nothing can prepare you for grief, nor is there a right or wrong way to deal with it, but sad music is an easily accessible and highly effective tool that can help you begin to heal.

Learn How Sad Music Can Help You